In no particular order...
✽ I would crap my pants if I saw this in person:
✽ At the risk of sounding lonely and desperate (I swear I'm not!): Have you ever seen a complete stranger and thought, "I totally want to be friends with that girl"? If I had to pinpoint what triggers this thought, I guess I'd say A) an infectious laugh or B) a cool outfit. I'm not sure what that says about me.
✽ When shopping, I'm always drawn to gorgeous lemon yellow articles of clothing. The color is so beautiful and summery. But, my skin has very yellow undertones. If I were to wear yellow, people might mistake my liver for that of a 65-year-old alcoholic. Therefore, I do not wear yellow. Generally speaking, yellow is a very difficult color to pull off. You either have to be tan, blond, or Stacy London (with whom I totally want to be friends).
✽ I am not someone who uses cutesy names for genitalia. My son knows he has a penis and not a pee-pee or wee-wee. (I've never known which term is the masculine form of the two.) I cringe when Oprah yells about her "vajayjay" but, then again, I cringe at everything Oprah says. Admittedly, "vagina" is not a pleasant word, but neither are ANY of its synonyms. There is a time and a place for those words, and it's not in casual conversation. Yuck.
So why am I obsessed with a word like "douche"? It's so DISGUSTING, not to mention completely unoriginal, yet I cannot stop saying it and all its variants. Especially when I look at this picture:
I mean, look at Jon Gosselin, with his Ed Hardy/Christian Audigier shirt, his diamond stud earrings, his sunglasses, his hair plugs and his 23-yr-old girlfriend. The guy could not be any douchey-er if he crashed a water tanker truck into a vinegar factory.
✽ Flipping Out Season 3 begins August 17 on Bravo! I should put a creepy floating baby thing on the side of my blog to count down 'til then.
I totally want to be friends with Jeff Lewis. We could just hang out and drink 140˚coffee together. Or maybe we could get a cold drink, like, 70 percent lemonade/20 percent punch/10 percent Sprite. Or, if they don't have fruit punch, we could do 85 percent lemonade and 15 percent Sprite. Either way, it'd be awesome.
Christi and I once discussed canceling our cable subscriptions. I agreed that it was a great idea and that we would support each other through it. Then, I remembered my addiction to Bravo. So, while Christi will be forced to spend the end of her summer interacting with her husband and kids, exploring the great outdoors, reading books, and whatever else it is that people without cable do, I will be watching a hot gay guy with OCD flip houses.
Sucker.
7 comments:
I was wondering when that show was going to come on, thanks for the update on that season starter.
Second, Jon is a total douche.
i am SO excited for Flipping Out!! yay!
and yes, jon gosselin is a douche. that is THE perfect way to describe him.
i too, cannot wear yellow. i've tried. it's just too yellow for me.
Oh! I love this post. Here are my comments: (As if I needed to preface them? What? I know...)
1. I usually want to be friends with people who have good hair. Seriously.
2. I agree, yellow is great. I look very jaundice-y when I wear it, too. I'm ALWAYS drawn to green and I look terrible in that too. Ugh.
3.I grew up in a house where we called "bathing suit parts" by their given names. However, as an adult I've proceeded to shorten the ever-popular, "vagina" to "vag." (Rhymes with, "badge".) I prefer that. Much edgier. ;)
4. I didn't SEE the DIAMOND STUDS in Jon Gosselin's ears. DAMN. If I weren't married...
5. I laughed out loud at your drink percentages. I love Jeff Lewis, too. Thanks for the PSA about his show returning just a day after my birthday. Suh-weet.
(Love when you blog.)
(Sorry this comment is so long. Lila's sleeping and I feel like a free woman.)
I want to be friends with Stacy London so she can be completely honest with me regarding my outfit choices. Everyone needs a friend like that, right? ...and, she has good hair.
I love funny people and always want to be their friends. If I hear someone say something funny at the store I know in my heart we would make great best friends.
Though I always think yellow looks great on others, I have come to terms with the fact that I WILL never and SHOULD never wear yellow or anything with yellow in it. Infact, I don't feel I look good in any bright colors, it is neutrals all the way!
I LOVE the word Douche in all its splendid forms. Douchebag, douchebaggery, douchehead, doucher, douchey. However, it needs to be said that a douchebag should not be confused with a Tool or a Jackass. All very different though share similar qualities.
i thought of this post again last night as i read my Entertainment Weekly.
the last page of the mag is "The Bullseye" and up in the right hand corner (clearly "off target") was a photo of j. gosselin and his tramp-o-the-week with the phrase "rhymes with mouchebag" under the photo. ;)
LOL about cringing at Oprah!! She would say vajayjay all proud and loud too. Gross.
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